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when your boss just isn't that into you

6 Steps To Winning Over A Boss Who Is Just Not That Into You

Have you ever had that sick feeling in your gut that your boss is just not into you? Maybe they continually criticize your work or maybe they are indifferent. They don’t show any passion. You know in your gut that you are just not connecting. They are not bought in to what you are bringing to the table. They are not bought in to your value proposition.

I want to give you 6 surefire steps. If you follow these, you will know where you stand and you’ll also have a high probability of getting that boss bought into you and your vision, helping you differentiate yourself from 99 percent of other employees or other leaders that are out there.

  1. Call an intentional meeting. “Hey, boss man or woman, I would love to sit down. I have some things on my mind. Can I have 20 to 30 minutes of your time?” It’s that simple, but it has got to be an intentional meeting. Not part of a 1 on 1. Not part of another meeting. Call an intentional meeting.
  2. When you open the meeting, pay sincere compliments about what you like about your boss. Not about the company as a whole but what you like about the boss. Everybody’s got positives (even the SOBs out there). Find the good things about them. That’s a leadership trait. Leaders can find those things. Compliment them. Maybe it’s how they run their meetings. Maybe it’s the way they coach others. Maybe it’s the way they get projects completed. If you have any questions in this area, get 21 Qualities of a Leader, from John Maxwell. Read through that and figure out which things this person does well and compliment them in that area.
  3. The next step is transition. After you open the meeting and compliment them, address the issue: “There is something in my gut that just tells me you haven’t bought into what I am doing. There is something in my gut that tells me you are not 100 percent on board. I would love to figure out if there is a way I can get you bought in 100 percent to what I am doing,” or something of that nature. Then lips sealed. Shut up and listen. If you have a boss that starts rattling off things that concern them, you are going to be tempted to get defensive–this is where you have to be the bigger leader and you’ve just got to stay quiet.
  4. Take good notes, and ask if there is anything else. “This is what I think I have heard,” summarizing what you have heard. You can either deal with it in that meeting or you can say, “I would like to take your concerns and think about them and then can we get together again later.”
  5. Once you have addressed the concerns, or you find out that there are no real concerns, then cast your vision. “This is how I am looking at my job. Here is where I see my value proposition.”
  6. Gain their buy-in to your vision to where you see your strengths, where you see yourself adding the most value. If they don’t buy in, then listen and understand what their concerns are and overcome those concerns.

If you will follow these steps, you are going to differentiate yourself from 99 percent of the employees and leaders that are out there. You are going to position yourself differently. You are going to find out what is really bothering them. You are going to take a boss that was not that into you and turn them into one of your biggest fans.

So rise up., step into it, and own your leadership. You can do that. Make it happen.

1 thought on “6 Steps To Winning Over A Boss Who Is Just Not That Into You”

  1. Excellent advise. Resisting being defensive is clearly where many fail but that could lead the discussion in a different and non beneficial direction. It may not be the content of the discussion as much as opening the door for a free flow of communications in the future.

    Very positive suggestions.

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